we're blogging at a bar
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
