11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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