What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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