tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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