found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
