I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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