let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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