he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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