Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I AM VODKA MAN
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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