question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
