Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
