Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
