"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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