doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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