I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
