I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
