What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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