Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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