YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
