Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just tell him i said nine months
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
