If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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