no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
