I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize