It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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