we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
