would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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