i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
