I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize