oh god the rape fog is back!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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