At least make sure they are 18
Why
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
