his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
