walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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