Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
