i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
