his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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