the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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