The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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