I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
