Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
