Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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