i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
