It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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