mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
