He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
