Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
