White coat. Heels.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
