he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
