Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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