ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize