I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Houston, we have a squirter
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
