I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
