is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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