I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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