some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
