How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize