Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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