So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
