Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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