Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
