so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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