No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
