Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize