if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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