my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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