I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
