i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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