My girlfriend figured out who you are.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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