Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
