No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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