Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
