the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
