I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
