Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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