I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
